Thursday, May 15, 2003

Kissing and Sleep Rituals

My sister Gloria just called me, and started her conversation with, "What do you think about kissing in the morning?"

The only time her husband (who has admitted to being bisexual) feels like kissing her is in the morning, pre-toothpaste. She'd rather kiss any other time of the day, but it's the only period in 24 hours that he feels like kissing. Relationships are like that - at least in my experience. My partners always had different habits than myself regarding kissing and especially sleeping.

I haven't been with someone who is a good kisser for a long time. BC was horrible. Whenever we kissed I felt like I was drowning in gobs of saliva. I have seen bear-daddy pornos, where the top spits in the other guy's mouth. If anyone did that to me, I'd punch him. I gave up kissing BC near the end of our relationship, for mouth-on-cock action. When I was really horny and turned on though, I didn't mind drowning in his slobber. He said he couldn't help it - when he's turned on his mouth waters. It was helpful for cock sucking, but kissing? Yeck.

I've only had one boyfriend who loved to cuddle. Sure, they all like to cuddle at first, when you first meet. But after a month, they change their pattern. Once they're ready to fall asleep, they don't like being touched during the night, and especially not in the morning - when I most like to cuddle. They draw an imaginery line between us on the bed, and I'm not allowed to tresspass it. They were light sleepers, so any movement or touch wakes them. I could sleep through a catastrophe, and apparently I move around a lot during the night. In the morning, the sheets and blankets are at the foot of the bed. I also tend to take all the covers, which ends up in a "tug-of-war" during the night. I guess I'm not the easiest guy to sleep with, but once, when BC and I had a threesome, the third wheel loved to cuddle, all night, all morning, and I was in heaven. BC slept on the other side of the line, peacefully.

And the rituals they have before going to bed drive me nuts. BC had to have the bed perfectly made with military corners. He used five pillows - three under his head, one under his hips, and another under his feet. The lights had to be off. The curtains closed. The window open a crack. I prefer the window wide open, one light on, and falling asleep to the radio. I also kick off the sheets so I'm not closed in. Lately, I've taken to sleeping with my laptop, speakers, paperwork and dirty dishes on the left hand side of my queen sized bed. "The Stone Angel" had to always sleep on the left side - he was incapable of being flexible enough to sleep on the right hand side.

Usually BC, and Les, would end up moving to another bedroom or couch, just after I'd fallen asleep. A few times I was so insulted I got up, got dressed and left, telling them, "What's the point of me sleeping here if you won't sleep with me? I'd rather be at home in my own bed, alone." It's painful to wake up, not have your boyfriend next to you, and not have someone to cuddle.

It may be a little weird, but as children and pre-teens, I used to sleep, cuddled up with my sisters at night. They loved to cuddle as much as me.

I think with my next relationship, I'll ascertain whether or not he is a cuddler. If he isn't, I'll dump him, sooner than you can *blink.*

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