Sunday, August 21, 2005

9 to 5 - no thanks.I stole this image. I ripped it off from Jason's Room. It just so works for my blog, and I have no idea how he finds such fantastic images. Sorry Jason! Perhaps you could tell me how you find such relevant and beautiful images, so I don't need to rip-you-off!

Since I've had financial problems since a certain client screwed me over for a very LARGE contract, I've been considering going back to work for a company. I've been freelancing for 6 years now, and it suits me best. The last job for which I worked 9 to 5, for paltry money that didn't cover my basic living expenses, drove me nearly insane. Since then I've made a good living teaching, and doing my own freelance work. But since I quit teaching last year, and since my contracts are thinning out at the moment, I'm thinking of:

a. finding a full time job
b. finding a part time job to supplement my freelance work
c. selling my body

I think that selling my body is far preferable to finding a full time job - at least I'd work for myself. My preference would be a part time job, but even better is getting some new contracts in, and fast.

After having gone to school for over 10 years, and being used to setting my own schedules, as soon as I'm put into a cubicle from 9am to 5pm, I feel like I'm in jail. I start hyperventilating.

Actually, another option is:
d. go to jail

Except that options:
a. and d. sound the same to me.

I've never worked full time for more than a year in my entire life. Scholarships, part time jobs, student loans, work on the side have been my entire life.

I've got personality problems that prevent me from doing the reasonable 9 to 5 thing. The first is impatience. I have very minimal skills when it comes to dealing with incompetent and unproductive people. I'm very gentle and supportive the first 3-5 times that I tell someone how to do something, but if they're still uncooperative, I begin to think they're doing it to spite me, or that they simply haven't done therapy. After that, my blood pressure begins to boil, and I often lash out at him or her. Or, if I have an incompetent supervisor, who doesn't listen to my rational complaints or is less intelligent than me, I usually end up telling them so, and thereby breaking the rule of "thy shall not be insubordinant."

I've gotten worse too, the longer I work for myself, and the better I've gotten at my work.

I don't think of myself as a perfectionist - it's taken me years to become one, but I think many people think of me as such. So, I get along best with people who are passionate, smart and into improving their work, which is rare in the 9 to 5 world. I know I'm know I'm not the best either, and if I discover someone who knows more than me in a certain area, I'm a total, gushing, ass-kisser to learn what they know.

Since I work intensely, when I do work, I need a few minutes or an hour, here and there, to go for a walk, make myself some food, clean the dishes, trim my nose hairs, or whatever, in the middle of the work day. When you work in the 9 to 5 prison, you're not allowed to. You're expected to be in the cubicle. So if the manager or boss walks by, and you're not there, it's bad.

The other thing that makes me the angriest is that I am working for a low salary (i.e. under $50/hour) making the company richer, and I'm not sharing that profit. I would belong best in those upstart companies, who share the ownership of the company.

I'm willing to work more than 9 - 5, but only for myself. Unless I'm getting over $50/hour, I'm not. I refuse to be owned. In the past week, I actually worked a couple of 18 hour days. That's fine. Because I'm doing it for myself and on my own terms.

The other personality disorder I have is that I cannot deal with office politics. I just can't. I can't kiss ass just because someone is considered to be more important than me. It's against my nature, and would ruin my creativity and very soul.

So, I may be doomed...unless I can pull it together, very soon.

Wish me luck.
A petition for ancient practices

I've had a nightmarish week. I don't want to get into details, but it involves the lack of money, working 16 hour days and doing a ton of free work. But I happened to turn on the television this morning, and managed to catch the last 45 minutes of the Visa U.S. Men's Gymnastics Championships, which almost made up for my lousy week. Todd Thornton, who happens to share the last name of one of my ex's, won the event (see picture above). What was amazing is that the television cameras managed to catch several gymnasts walk off their event, then pull their body suit down to expose their amazing chests and abs. Normally coverage has been far more homophobic, and they avoid such shots. I wish they'd return to the ancient Roman tradition of competing naked. The competition was good - some outstanding performances - and the gymnastics was good too. David Durante came in third or fourth, but for his show off the competition floor, definitely deserved first or second place (see picture).

Then I went for a walk through Kitsilano to get a coffee, and it seemed to be a day that all the most gorgeous, beautiful men decided to parade down Broadway, sit in cafes, and sun themselves on benches. I really need to "lose my computer" for a while and get out of the house more often.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Finding a new roommate is hard work

I haven't blogged in a while because I've been preoccupied with finding a new roommate, and new contract work. It's been an interesting experience. In the past, I've advertised my room for rent, and it's gone with the first or second person. This time around, I've had to email, talk to, and show the room to dozens of people before finding the right person (well, only 8 people). But I've finally found him.

It's been a great experience. I've met so many fascinating and interesting people, who are truly international and have tons of education and travel stories. All of them were attractive (as people), except for three gay guys, who saw my ad at the gay book store in the West End. All three of them ended up being lonely guys, living alone, looking for someone to connect with. Eww! Sorry, I'm not the guy for you. Instead, I met fascinating straight men and women, who were comfortable living with a gay man.

So my new roommate is a straight man, 28 (I think), with tons of education. He just finished his graduate degree at UBC. He also speaks Japanese, Norweigan and Spanish. He's nice looking, not my type (which is fortunate) and we can talk about many things. He's lived in Japan for four years, has travelled around the world, and originates from Minnesota. He also wears very nice socks and running shoes. He's got these shortened socks - I don't know what they're called (I'm no longer that trendy, but believe me, I'm going to get some) and his running shoes are way cool.

I also met a fabulous international woman, who has lived in Europe, Toronto, Los Angeles, etc. and has decided to live in Vancouver. She's got degrees in both Finance and Visual Arts. I met an even better looking guy than Chris. He was 6'6", dark brown hair, emerald green eyes, and studying geo-chemistry at UBC. He had to almost duck under the doorway when he came into my home. I met a sweet Japanese girl, named Reiko (ray-ko). I met a sexy Vancouverite who was straight, and also very cool and creative. I met a young, nervous Middle Eastern guy, who seemed nice, but unusually nervous (don't know why). And I met an incredibly charismatic French Canadian, Ph.D. student at UBC, who is pure fun and lightness, gorgeous, with a brilliant mind. He may still end up living with me for half a month in August (I can't wait to party with him). I also was trying to sell my car, and met a beautiful blond middle European guy - his name he spelled as "Andrey" - I'm not sure where he's from. But I think it begins with an "A." He had a strong hand and strong handshake. (I was willing to make a deal with him, if you know what I mean, but it didn't happen.)

So, it's been a positive experience, except for the gay guys. The gay guys were all desperate. The straight people weren't. Isn't that icky? Any comments or insights on that? Is it because I'm so darn good looking that I attract icky gay men, even though they haven't seen what I look like? Whereas intelligent, international, educated, multi-lingual straight men and women could give a shit about my sexuality or looks? Je ne sais pas.

Au revoir.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Looking for a Roommate

I decided I wanted to rent out my second bedroom again. It's been five months since I had a roommate. So I started advertising quite late in July, hoping for someone August 1st. I advertised on two online sites, and put some posters up at a local college and at the gay bookstore downtown.

Yesterday I showed my place to a young guy named Chris. He told me he was moving here from Calgary, to study acting. When I answered the door, standing before me was a 6'2", blond, blue-eyed gorgeous man, wearing a muscle shirt that showed off his amazing physique. I was so shocked, I nearly forgot to say hello. Then he moved aside and introduced me to his parents. I was so nervous that his mom and dad would see me drooling over their gorgeous baby son. I didn't know they were coming. They had driven him to Vancouver with a few of his furnishings, and were helping him to find a place.

All of them were very nice - in that Southern Alberta, small Christian town kind of way. Chris was just bouncing with enthusiasm. He told me he worked at Gold's Gym, in their supplements department before moving out here. His mother told me he cooks very healthy, using his special wok. Anyway, they were all complimentary, and told me they would call me today if they were interested. So far I haven't heard from them and it's already 3pm. So I'm afraid he won't be my new roomy. It's probably for the best - I might start obsessing about him. I'm certain he's straight.

At 4:30pm, a young 21 year old girl, who's coming here from Washington to study ballet is visiting with her parents. It seems freaky to me to have such a young little girl stay with me. I'm going to feel like a father or uncle or something. I'd rather not live with a female, but we'll see how it goes. She said she's gay-friendly (obviously, being in ballet).

Another guy named Nick called me last night, saying he saw my notice at the gay bookstore. He was creepy right away - he kept giggling and trying to say funny and suggestive things to whatever I said. It felt like he was flirting with me, but at first I just put it down to him being friendly. So after telling him about my place, he told me that he was living in Richmond in a 3600 sq. ft. home. He had 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a jacuzzi, etc. I asked him why he'd want to move into a 900 sq. ft. place with an 8' x 9' bedroom. He said he was lonely, and that he worked at home all day at a stock trader, and it would be wonderful to have someone to hang out with and talk with, especially since I work from home.

I could tell that this guy was desperate. I told him I'd prefer a roommate that wasn't home all the time since I am. He then asked me if I went to the gay parade, and I said no, I went to the beach. He asked, "Was it a nude beach?" I said, "No." He asked, "Do you like to go to the gay nude beach at Wreck?" Now I was totally revolted by this sleazy creep, who doesn't even know me, and is asking me personal and inappropriate questions. I quickly said, "I don't think this accommodation will work out for you, and good luck," before hanging up. Gross! He was using for rent ads as a dating service.

I'll let you know what happens with my roommate situation. I hope something positive works out.