Tuesday, March 30, 2004

A Messy Situation
My new roommate has arrived. He seems very nice. But I found out that he left his boyfriend of three years, back in Ohio, in order to pursue a more prestigious job here in Vancouver. They weren't breaking up...I think Cowboy thought he'd be happier in his new job, and could eventually apply to have his boyfriend immigrate to Canada. As a result, Cowboy is very depressed and lonely without his boyfriend. And so far, he's bored at his new job. He told me he'd give the job two weeks before going back to Ohio.

There's a significant difference between the East and West Coasts in terms of work attitudes. Here on the West Coast, we go much slower, make decisions less quickly, and things take more time. There's too much natural beauty here, by which to be distracted. So far he hasn't done any work, and he's been in his job for a week.

Cowboy left to work on Monday morning, and I was at my computer. I thought I'd do a morning jerk-off, watching a little porn flick, before I had to shower and go teach. There's something about this porno that really turns me on. It's rather rude to discuss. But I will, anyway.

A very hot looking Italian guy, with muscles and a hairy chest is being sucked off by a muscular bald stud, while being held from behind by another muscular dude, who is playing with his nipples, and is slapping them, then rubbing them.

In the next scene, the Italian guy is bent over and the bald guy is fucking him from behind. He's got great technique - slow, then fast, pulling out and so on. The Italian guy is groaning and hard and is obviously loving it.

Then the bald guy pulls out and immediately the muscular dude comes in and fucks him, without hardly missing a beat. He fucks fast and furious, and the Italian guy is bouncing back and forward.

I always come at exactly the moment the second guy fucks the Italian guy. I'm not sure why - perhaps I'm twisted, a little. But the idea is getting me off right now. So I came (furiously) while sitting at my computer, and my love potion spilled out on my keyboard. Now my numbers 1, 2 and 3 don't work.

I thought, "ew, gross" and didn't want to clean it up, because I was running a bit late. And forgot all about it.

Later in the evening, I was home with Cowboy, telling him about a Web site he should know about. He sat down at my computer and started typing in the site address when his fingers got all wet and sticky...

What can I say? It was a messy situation. And very embarrassing. Boys, remember to clean up.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Public Transit
My car ran out of insurance and it needs a tune-up, even though I got one just six months ago. So I'll need to wait a few weeks before I can afford to buy insurance and afford garage work. What a drag! The scorge of being mostlyself-employed and wanting to avoid credit! (i.e. cheques come in two weeks from clients.)

I started teaching a new course today, and had to take PUBLIC TRANSIT to get to work. It takes me at least an hour or more to get there by PUBLIC TRANSIT. No more waking up at the last minute to shower and jump in my car...listening to music while I drink my morning coffee, casually. I have to plan ("what time does it arrive?, when does it connect?, which skytrain must I take?"), wait for PUBLIC TRANSIT, sit and interact with hundreds of germy, viral other grimy transit passengers. I must grasp onto stainless steel poles when the bus lurches, picking up the colds, flus and other nasties that have contaiminated it. Sit next to lecherous, smelly and coughing passengers who aggressively take over the seating, making me sit half on my rear, the other hanging off, so I don't have to touch them. Feeling guilty when a senior citizen gets on the bus - I end up standing to give them the seat.

So I armed myself with a CD player, some great tunes, headphones wrapped around my ears to tune everyone else out, and...wow, taking PUBLIC TRANSIT was F-U-N-!

First of all, at 8:15am while waiting for the bus, was the 6'3" blond boy with blue eyes, recently short cropped hair, naturally big muscular thighs in jeans wearing a t-shirt, who was listening to his CD player. He got on the bus with me, and I bet he was about 23. I sat behind him, salivating. He opened his school work, and it was musical scores. I got the impression he was listening to the musical scores of the CD he was listening to, because he seemed to get into it, occassionally, by nodding his head. I noticed he had large hands, long fingers. He had short-cut nails, and his index finger nail (on the side) had a bit of blood coagulated on the side of his nail. His upper body was slim, but his legs and thighs and feet were huge. He wore big hiking boots. He looked both delicate and masculine simultaneously. Sweet and hot at the same time. It engaged my attention the whole trip to the skytrain (which in Vancouver terms means the subway).

Then I got onto the skytrain (Vancouver's subway). A 6'4" German god was already on the train. Standing up. He looked about 30 something. We kept looking at each other, surreptitiously. He looked like my first lover - Stu (see past posts). I saw him standing from the back. His perfect athletic body. His golden wheat coloured hair. Square-curved butt. Then he assertively turned around, looked at me, and sat down with his huge thighs, widely parted, facing me, only a few feet away. He kept looking at me, furtively. I looked at him, furtively. He looked at me, furtively. I looked at him, furtively.

Then he got off. The skytrain, I mean.

I taught my seven hours 'straight' (with school, I mean), then got back on PUBLIC TRANSIT.

And was entertained by 6'3" dark haired, classic, jock boy. He was with a young Asian female, who was probably his lover, because he had his arms around her. But I didn't care. He seemed to notice me anyway. You know what I mean? There's hot "straight" guys, who notice "hot gay guys" on the level that makes me think they have:

1. gaydar
2. are somewhat gay themselves
3. love being appreciated by guys

Whatever the case, I noticed he had those very short socks on, underneath his Nikes. He was so tall and so godlike, that when he sat down, his very short socks revealed his sexy, athletic ankles, because his jeans kind of like, edged up toward his groin. I'm sure it wasn't intentional. He also had no hair on his face, no hair sticking out anywhere, his arm hair was well groomed, he was pure gay sexuality, unless straight guys are getting WAY better looking.

I had a good time going home on PUBLIC TRANSIT. There were so many sexual innuendos - I've only mentioned three - there were so many more - that taking PUBLIC TRANSIT, almost makes it worthwhile.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004


I was 28 before I realized that once every month the moon is invisible in the sky - I think it's called the "new moon." I was shocked!

My favourite flower is the tulip. The gorgeous colours, the fleshy moist petals, the protruding thingys that stick up, and they smell incredible. I was amazed when I found out that many people believe that a tulip has no scent! It has the most wonderful, delicate and sweet tulipy scent.

Every spring, I'm amazed by the number and variety of flowering flowers, trees and bushes. There are incredible pink rose flowering trees, outrageous yellow tree blossoms, snow white droplet trees, African-inspired, exotic, red, blossoming bushes. 17th century skirt-inspired flowers on hedges. Burning violet-purple bushies. Delicate and transluscent Hawaiian flowers. Every spring I think, I've never seen them before, and how wonderous they are. It's like spring is saying, "Hello! We're alive and we're beautiful - isn't life beautiful and precious? Let's burst full of life and all engage in its sumptuousness!"

I didn't learn about luminesence until I was 28 - just like the "new moon." Isn't it awesome?

I didn't realize that so many guys love being a bottom until I was 28. In fact, they're proud of being a bottom, and self-identify as such. I love 'em.

I didn't learn how to suck cock well, until I was 35. How weird and unfortunate is that? BC (10") taught me.

I've never used a dildo on myself, and never will. I want the real thing. I like using them on others though, if they find it exciting. But usually they like my real thing.

This is weird and embarrassing, but I will admit it. I have lots of pre-cum. My first three lovers didn't like my pre-cum. They complained about it and made me feel bad about it. Like I was disformed, or something. But BC LOVED my precum. Since then I've discovered that many guys like pre-cum. It's fun to play with and rub with. So now I feel great about my pre-cum. Yea!

That last confession suggests I should write about my uncut cock. First of all, I didn't think about it at all for decades. No one brought it up. I don't have a lot of foreskin. When I'm hard, you can't see any foreskin. Perhaps I'm semi-uncut? I don't look like those European or Brazilian guys. Then there's this whole issue with keeping your uncut cock clean. I've never had an infection or any problem with it. So I really don't know what people are talking about. Does it make me more sensitive? I don't think so. I think that's a myth. A good blow job is all you need, regardless if you're cut or uncut. I have no preference, unless the uncut cock is "stuck" to the penis, and you can't move it. Which my third partner, the Stone Angel, had. It was yucky.

There's so much ephemera that I could write about, but that's probably "too much information" for now.

Monday, March 15, 2004

My Perfect Match
I tried the quiz from Match.com's physical attraction test, mentioned by Mighty Maloney. It was fun to do! And I think it's quite accurate. It gave me the following two pictures, and yes, I'd have to say, I find these two guys extremely sexy. It surprised me, because I've never dated anyone who looked like this (although I've fantasized about it).

Here's the rest of the information they gave me:

Favorite Looks
A subgroup of men you picked can only be described as "Hunks." They have a clean-cut, "All-American" look. They're very handsome, without being either "pretty" or overly "rugged." Their face shape and jawline are typically very masculine and strong, while the "inner face" brings more delicate features like a small to medium nose, beautiful eyes, and full lips. It's a balance between the masculine and the feminine that make these guys so irresistible. In fact, these guys have been chased after all their lives, by 1 in 3 men (35%).
You also liked guys that could easily pass as "Football Quarterbacks." They have strong, masculine faces, framed by a square jaw. They're also obviously strong guys with muscular necks. Still, they have a clean-cut "All-American" look and are handsome enough to shine on camera after the game as well! About 1 in 4 men (28%) found this "look" especially attractive.

Favorite Face Type
Faces known scientifically as "Ecto-Mesomorph" repeatedly caught your eye. Men express this type in two ways. One version has a rectangular face shape that is long and narrow. The other type's face shape is often compared to a diamond, because it is wide at the cheeks and then has a sharply angled jaw. All Ecto-Mesomorph men have striking chins that are prominent and squared-off with a crisp line at the base. This is one of the most idealized male face types and can be found on most movie and music idols. It can hold either bold masculine features or more delicate handsome features, or some sexy combination of both. These men also tend to have lean and muscular builds when they're young. About 57% of other men especially prefer men with this face type.

If there's anyone out there that looks like this, contact me!

Thursday, March 11, 2004

I've had a couple of psychic dreams in my life. The first, when I was about 16 years old, was a dream about a brick wall falling on top of children due to high winds. I dreamt it happened in a shopping mall. Because the dream was so vivid, I told my family about the dream. The next day, the news reported that a firewall (made of brick) fell over due to high winds at an elementary school, killing several children. That freaked us all out!

When I was 28 I dreamt I was watching a tv news show, that reported an earthquake on January 20th, 1994. I was living in Vancouver at the time and was worried about earthquakes happening here. I thought it would happen in Vancouver. My dream happened about a month and a half before the due date. I told all my friends. We were all freaked out when there was an earthquake in Los Angeles on January 17th!

Okay, so here's my prediction. I believe that Mount Rainier will blow, as a volcano, at the beginning of October this year. I felt this very strongly two years ago when I was on Saturna Island at the beginning of October. I looked across the ocean and saw Mount St. Helen, and it "came to me" that Mount Rainier would blow at this time in the next two years. So, it has now been written here, to either make a fool out of me, or to prove that I predicted it.

Another scary prediction was made by psychic Sylvia Browne that Florida would experience a tidal wave some time in May. She made the prediction on the radio show "Coast to Coast AM." She didn't say how it would be set off, but that she felt there was a strong probability. Let's hope it doesn't come true!

Have you ever predicted anything?

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

My Mom
I'm not sure why, but I've been thinking about my mother a lot recently. I haven't seen my family in over two years and I miss them all. They're all amazing, but I definitely have an amazing mother!

Whenever I think of her, I automatically have a smile on my face, and remember all the fun times with her. She doesn't conform to any typical ideas of a mother. When she married my father she was an unmarried woman with an illegitimate daughter (my oldest sister). She got pregnant from her boyfriend from high school, which was a major shocker back in those days. She was also voted the most beautiful and popular in her high school graduating class.

My father was studying to be a doctor when they met, and after getting married, my dad had a "calling" and became a minister, which was the last thing she intended to marry. She wasn't at all religious. She swears, can be hilariously vulgar, is flirtatious, and speaks her mind. Ironically, the church congregations loved her, because she was so untypically the "minister's wife." My mother is never false, and she lives her life true to her own values and morals.

She talks, a lot. Ever since I was a child when she was pushing me in my stroller, she talked to me. As a teenager, we would suntan in the backyard together, and she'd talk. She's a brilliant and interesting talker - she can make every topic interesting. My sisters talk a lot also, but I was more quiet and introspective. To this day, I love people who are engaging orators. I love to listen. I listen to talk radio, because it reminds me of being with my Mom...being talked to. It's relaxing for me.

My Mom is a super-mom. She's very intelligent and creative (she studied ballet, voice and music), she's a great writer, and everything she put her mind to she accomplished. She has major managerial skills, can organize anything but above all, she loves to entertain and love people. At the same time, she's a perfectionist and expects the best from people.

I remember when I was about 9 years old, us kids had made a mess with all of our toys around the house. She got a phone call from a parishioner who was going to come over within 30 minutes. She didn't want the parishioner to see our place a mess, so she made a game out of cleaning things up. She gathered us kids together and said, "We need to make this place look tidy within 20 minutes!" We were laughing and giggling while pushing our toys into closets, under the bed, putting dirty dishes into cupboards and so on. It was so dramatic! We managed to get the house looking good by the time the parishioner came over.

I remember sitting at the diningroom table with my mom and sisters, while she was sewing. My little sister was just born. But she had all of us around her, while she was sewing, entertaining us with wonderful talk and conversation.

My Mom knew all about cooking, and owned every tool on the planet related to cooking, and she could cook a brilliant meal when having guests. But overall, she hated cooking. When I was a teenager, the favourite thing that she would make me for lunch was creamed asparagus on toast. We shared this special love together.

My mother drove us all over everywhere. All the time, from when we were children to when we were teens. As an adult, I found out that she drove us as kids when her driving license was invalid for several years. Typical of my mother's radical nature. She loved to tease us, by pushing on the breaks unexpectedly, or turning a corner quickly, making us fly around the car, causing adrenaline and laughs. It was like a roller coaster. We loved it.

We loved to hang out with my mother on her bed, watching tv, while giving her scalp massages. She loved having her scalp massaged, with nails, very hard. We also used tweezers to pluck out her grey hairs. She had the occasional pimple on her back, which I'd squeeze for her. She loved it when it hurt. She returned the favour when I was a teen.

When I was sick and stayed home from school, she would let me cuddle up in her bed watching tv, and make us milk shakes and ice cream sundaes with marshmellow and chocolate topping. Secretly, she loved it when we were home from school and had people to talk to.

When my mother was going through something emotionally (she'd never discuss this with us) she'd play the piano for three hours in the evening. I remember falling asleep to her playing Chopin, Bach or many other wonderful tunes. She studied piano at university.

My mother and father never argued in front of us.

When I was 15, my mother found a pack of "cigarettes" in my bedroom. They were actually herbal cigarettes (I can't remember their name now) but they smelled like marijuana, which she had never smoked. She brought them with her to work, and while on her break, she smoked one in the back room. She nearly got fired, because the owner thought she was smoking pot. She laughs about it to this day.

My Mom makes every holiday into a memorable event. My dad, as a minister, was as poor as a church mouse, but my Mom managed to save money all year long, and make our Christmas the most amazing celebration of consumption. We had presents galore, and my father was upset by it, but he always gave in to my mother, because she had strong ideals. We had Lent calendars which started a month before Christmas, with special gifts for each day. Easter, Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day were momentous, with family gatherings and dinner. My Mom made me heart shaped sandwiches for lunch, cut out with her cookie cutters. I had heart shaped cakes.

For birthdays, we were allowed to choose our cake and menu. It was "our day." I loved fruit salads (ha-ha) and Angel Food Cake. So that's what we'd have.

Okay, so now I'm crying. It was something about that last entry that affected me. It's no wonder I don't have a partner. How can any person ever live up to my Mom and Dad? I grew up expecting that others would be as loving and terrific, but they're not. Most of my other boyfriends haven't had such great parents.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't give up my experience for anything.

I love you, Mom.

Monday, March 08, 2004

It's time for a well-rounded blog-comment from yours truly. I've been contentious, lately. As Marshall McLuhan said, "The medium is the message." And I've been manipulated by the medium, known as "blogging," to craft some very one-sided messages.

Originally, what I loved about blogging, was the multi-perspective delivery of communications in which bloggers communicated their lives. What I related to, from the beginning, is how a blogger could be, "good - bad," "moralistic - slutty," "intelligent - stupid," "educated - ignorant," "vain - self-undermining," "sexy - ugly," "Christian - blasphemous," "boring fascinating," "political - social," "sexy - infecting."

What I realize now, is that I honour the fact that there is a dichotomy. Tell me your truth. I'll hear it.

Friday, March 05, 2004

Some of my favourite bloggers

Clever, humorous, honest, real, sexy. I check his blog site first, daily. Because I know I'm going to get a laugh, feel something, or just immerse myself in his 'being.' I can relate to him.

Clever, humorous, honest, real, sexy, and sweet. I feel protective of him. He reminds me of myself when I first "came out." Also, he has an amazing way of using language - using that Southern-influence. Plus, he insists, he's Christian. I'm too direct to entirely "get" him, but I love him anyway. He lists his links in alphabetical order, which indicates he is probably Virgo.

He's new, he's honest, he's real, he's sexy, I can't get my mind off his woody in his boxer shorts, he's muscular, he's educated, he's super-intelligent. He's a great writer.

Funny, brilliant, sexy and clever beyond belief. He's not as slutty as I'd like him to be though. So that's why he's last on my list. He tries his best to be slutty, but he's got a boyfriend.

Wet Dreaming
Hot, sexy, fun, clever, visual, once married with daughter, lives on an island, plus partnered with a hot guy - the blogger I want to be. Hasn't any sexual hang-ups.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

New roommate coming

After living alone for the last four months, I realized I needed the extra income, so went looking for a roommate to share my house for March. I prefer living alone, and it's a bit daunting to live with someone I don't know (it's even daunting to live with someone I do), but I put up my posters at the usual hot spots. Then on the web I came across www.roommateclick.com. It allows advertise, post pictures and so on and thought I'd give it a try. The next day I had a message from a guy with a handle called "vaquero." It obviously sounds Spanish, so I looked it up on the web and found out it means "cowboy."

So I'll call my new roommate "cowboy." He's currently living in Ohio, but moving to Vancouver because he has a new job beginning April 1 at a university near my house. He's a biogenetics engineer. He's got a master's education and is originally from Mexico. We talked on the phone a few times, and he's got a lovely Spanish accent. He sent me a couple pictures and looks like handsome enough guy. So he's moving in the third week of March.

I love having a roommate who's never been in Vancouver before, because I get to play tour guide to this beautiful city (Vancouver was just nominated the third best place to live in the world by Conde Nast magazine, down from number one for the past two times). I think I also prefer someone who is gay and educated, so he meets these qualifications.

It might be nice to have someone else around. We'll see.
Australian rugby player convicted of several counts of non-consensual ass-play & The gay agenda behind same-sex marriages

Controversial Wests Tigers winger John Hopoate has been suspended for 12 weeks after being found guilty by the NRL Judiciary of poking his fingers up the anuses of three North Queensland players. One of the accusers, Jones, said, "It wasn't a wedgie. That's when your pants are pulled up your arse. I think I know the difference between a wedgie and someone sticking their finger up my bum," said Jones, admitting that while both acts caused discomfort, they caused different sensations and he could differentiate between the two.
Click here for more.

Here's a clever animation regarding the politics of gay marriages. Click here.