Thursday, June 12, 2003

Soul Mates

I think it's time for some spiritual uplifting...another article from a less cynical and catty side of moi.

Soul relationships
From the moment your eyes meet, you feel as though you have known one another for eternity. As you get to know each other, you discover that you share the same beliefs, values and dreams. You know what the other is thinking and finish each other's sentences. When you make love, you have never experienced such erotic abandon and profound intimacy. You friends notice that not only are you alike, but you even look similar. Your common goals allow you to work harmoniously together, and your purpose is being fulfilled. Year after year, you feel even more passionately in love. People enjoy being around you, because you emanate the peace, joy and love of heaven. You believed in soul mates before you met, but nothing had prepared you for the ecstasy of this experience.

Nearly all of us, at some point, long for a relationship that transcends our usual experiences of them. A partnership based on harmony and unconditional love. A lover who mirrors our best attributes and magnifies them by their very presence. But do soul mates exist and if so, how do we meet him or her? In order to answer this, we must understand what a soul mate is by looking to myths about the creation of the universe. Myths help us to understand soul mates by telling a story about from where they originated.

The creation of companionship
In the beginning, before the first creative impulse, all was One. This Oneness — known as the Creator — in great love and curiosity desired to explore and know itself. But there was nothing to compare itself to. So the Creator created companionship by dividing itself into individual pieces of consciousness. These pieces of consciousness each had their own unique characteristics and purposes, and they further separated into many more individuated souls. Souls that are related are the original families to which we all belong. Each soul has a family function and an individual purpose. The more closely related we are, the more we share similar beliefs, values and dreams. Each soul is on a mission to explore its individuality. Though we were individual, we still felt as One, and were conscious of each other as a whole. So the Creator in its great wisdom manifested a physical reality, in which each soul would be placed into a body.

The Creator gave our body certain limitations so we wouldn't be able to fully remember who we are. The conditions were so perfectly conceived that when our soul was contained in a body, the density of physical reality created the experience of aloneness. We believed ourself to be separate from all that is. Dualism was born because 'separation' suggests a self and an other. We then experienced the illusion of self and other, male and female, good and evil, life and death, when the truth is we are all still One.

The Creator wanted to make sure we would, one day, remember who we are. In order to assist, the Creator produced karma — the law that every action causes an equal reaction. So whenever our actions came from the belief that we are separate, karma ensures that we have the opportunity to discover that we are not. Until we remember our unity and wholeness we ride the wheel of karma. The gift of karma allows us — as an individuated piece of the Creator — limitless opportunities to return to Oneness.

In one aspect then we are all soul mates. Related soul families tend to incarnate together at the same time, in order to help one another explore themselves and grow spiritually. So while we often do not remember each other from lifetime to lifetime, nearly everyone around us is related to our soul family, as distant as a great-great grandparent, or as close as a brother or sister, metaphorically speaking.

Our current mother and father, brothers and sisters, cousins and grandparents are usually from closely related soul families. We help one another learn lessons by playing different roles with one another through different lives. Depending on our past life experiences with one another, our relationships run the spectrum from highly conflicted to unconditionally loving and supportive. Karma involves both harmonious and discordant relationships. The more intense your reaction to another person, positive or negative, the more likely you are soul mates, have known one another through countless past lives, and have lessons to learn from one another.

Soul Mate Friendships and Romantic Partners
Usually when we think of soul mates, we think of friendships and romantic partners. These relationships help one another grow. It is a special meeting that will most likely alter your life. There are at least seven kinds of soul mates, each recognizable by the quality of relationship we have with them. Reflect upon your own relationships while reading these.

Divine complements
These people are the exact opposite of you. They reflect shadow qualities you have denied expression in yourself. They are usually acquaintances, co-workers or friends, and less often lovers. They come in and out of your life, staying for a while, then leaving, and sometimes coming back again. Your divine complements exist to help you integrate aspects of your psyche that you have disowned. You are also their divine complement. Usually you grow at different rates and in different directions and go your separate ways, though divine complements may stick around for a lifetime. You feel challenged emotionally by these people and it is not a comfortable relationship. You feel that you have little in common with them.

Immortal friendships
There is no beginning or end to these friendships. It is difficult to remember when you met (usually in childhood), and there is no fear of losing him or her. Even if your friend moves or dies, there is little sense of loss because you always feel their presence in your life. Even if you haven't seen each other for twenty years, you begin where you left off, as if no time had passed. You share unconditional love. You are neither exactly the same nor the opposite, but you tend to go through similar lessons at the same time, help each other, and share common interests and talents. Conflicts are extremely rare, and when they occur are easily resolved and forgotten. Immortal friendships are our soul's way of reminding us that we are never alone and always loved. These friendships make us feel safe, supported and immortal. They also hold the secret to what a romantic relationship is meant to be. If you ever wonder if your partner is the soul mate that's best for you, compare it to your immortal friendship, and you have your answer.

Karmic relationships
The most common of soul mate relationships, karmic relationships may be challenging or supportive experiences. They exist to fulfill karma from past lives. When we meet a karmic partner, we are drawn to him or her with a magnetic intensity. These people feel familiar, and we become involved with them very quickly. In the initial stages of the friendship or intimate relationship, much time is spent together getting to know one another.

Supportive karmic relationships
If the karma is to repay kindness, these people help us to move forward to fulfill our life purpose. They are often family members (who feel like friends), friends of the family or personal friends, teachers, co-workers, or even people with whom we have vacation romances. Sometimes, if we are fortunate, they are romantic partners. They come into our life, for brief periods or for life, to support and remind us that we are special and lovable. They offer their love with few conditions. The relationship is characterized by its ease, and engenders good feelings for both people.

Challenging karmic relationships
These relationships help us to identify our false core beliefs, by triggering the worst in us. While we may initially feel strong feelings of love, it is highly conditional. Eventually someone does something to provoke intense feelings of anger, jealousy, envy, rejection, abandonment and betrayal in the other. Usually our lessons are learned after the relationship has ended, when we recover from it. These relationships mirror core beliefs about what we believe we are worthy of receiving. Our lessons are to forgive, grow in compassion and love, for both self and other, and heal false core beliefs.

Twin mates
Sharing a connection of a like-minded service, twin mates have common purposes within the world. Rarely romantic partners, or even close friends, twin mates come together to work harmoniously to accomplish a project. Each has skills that assist the other in finishing the task successfully. Unlike other soul relationships, the main purpose of twin mate relationships is not helping one another to grow emotionally. Instead they serve the greater good of a society or culture. The relationship lasts as long as is necessary to complete the project.

Divine companions
Always a romantic relationship, divine companions provoke the greatest joy and the deepest grief. Often mistaken for a twin flame, we believe divine companions to be "the one." The connection creates strong feelings of physical attraction, profound intimacy and joy. Moments of magic occur between the two people, and identification with one another can be so strong, that you feel as if you are the other person.

But there is still karma left to work out in these relationships. At some point, conflict enters the picture, and each tries his or her hardest to resolve the conflict in order to keep the relationship going. Very rarely does the conflict get resolved. If resolution occurs, then this person may become your life partner, and bring great joy and fulfillment. But whether the relationship ends or not, your understanding of life is turned inside out. Your most cherished and deeply ingrained core beliefs about who you are, your purpose in life and the way the universe works are demolished. Intense grief and periods of depression are experienced. These are periods of clearing beliefs that no longer serve us, so we can build new beliefs from the ground up — ones that are closer to the truth. Through experiencing profound loss, divine companions increase our capacity to love by opening our hearts and strengthening our psychological foundation. Divine companions may even prepare us for meeting our twin flame.

Twin flames
Twin flame relationships are the inspiration for our deepest romantic desires and longings. It is our soul's knowledge of their existence that makes us strive to be unconditionally loving. Twin flame relationships, though becoming more common in the new energy, are exceptionally rare. They only occur when we are spiritually, psychologically and emotionally ready for them. There is no karma between the two individuals. These relationships exemplify unconditional love, harmony and cooperation.

It is said that the twin flame is the other half of our soul. While we have many soul mates, we only have one twin flame. He or she shares identical beliefs, values and dreams. Because he or she is your counterpart, in order to have a relationship with your twin flame, you must have an unconditionally loving relationship with yourself. You must experience and know your wholeness. You do not long for another person to complete you, and you are not even looking for love. You have discovered that you are the source of love. You live in harmony with your Higher Self. You are following your passion and fulfilling your life purpose.

When twin flames meet, there is fire. Ecstasy is a daily experience. Your combined energies are magnified, and the divine love of the Creator flows through you into the world. Your meeting serves the world because you model for others a loving relationship. You work together, combining your similar talents and purposes, and bless the world with eternal gifts.

According to Patricia Joudry and Maurie D. Pressman, M.D., in their book Twin Flames: Eternal Masculine and Eternal Feminine, famous twin flame relationships include scientists Marie and Pierre Curie, who received a Nobel prize for their contribution to understanding radioactivity, and poets Elizabeth Barret and Robert Browning for their poetic legacies.

Biographies written about the Curies and the Barret-Brownings note their exceptional and flawless marriages. The Curie's youngest daughter Eve, writes, "The two souls, like the two brains, were of equal quality. They formed one of the finest bonds that ever united man and woman. Two hearts beat together, two bodies were united, and two minds of genius learned to think together."

Perhaps no other poem in English history expresses the twin flame relationship better than the immortal sonnet of Elizabeth Barret Browning to John Browning, " How do I love thee?"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the end of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, — I love thee with the breadth,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! — and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Each twin flame must have developed, in equal amounts the male and female energies of their personalities. Twin flames, like all soul mate relationships, can be of both or different genders. The inner balances of male and female energies have nothing to do with gender. Karen, a reader of my work who corresponded with me, met her twin flame in her forties. To her surprise, her twin flame happened to be female. Though both had lived their lives as heterosexual women, their divine connection effortlessly transcended gender and sexuality.

Twin flames do not interfere in the relationships of others. If you are married when you meet your twin flame, neither individual does anything to lose the trust of the marriage partner. A famous example of this conundrum includes twin flames John Stuart Mill and Harriet Taylor, who met in the late 1820s. John Stuart Mill, reknown for shaping the foundations of modern political science, met Harriet Taylor when she was married to John Taylor. Their meeting created all the signs and symptoms of a twin flame reunion, and each brought one another to greater heights of joy and creativity. Twin flames must have enlightened ethics before a meeting is possible; therefore Harriet candidly confronted her husband with her feelings for Mill. When John demanded that Harriet abandon her relationship with Mill, Harriet complied. But John saw how unhappy this made his wife, and he learned to accept Mill's role as her lifelong platonic lover and friend.

It is important not to compare your relationships against the ideal of the twin flame, and find it lacking. Love by any name is just as sweet. Humans tend to like to categorize things - relationships included. The purpose of categorizing soul mate relationships is to understand them better and to help us to learn the lessons each has for us. If you wish to meet your twin flame, begin by cherishing the love you have now in your life.

Given statistics and the law of averages, not everyone has a twin flame similar in age who is available. Meeting and having a relationship with our twin flame is highly unlikely in our life. But don’t be disheartened. It is said that your twin flame is not merely of flesh and blood. He or she is a spiritual counterpart who, at the soul level, is never separate from you. The energy vibrational signature of your twin flame is available on a spiritual level and the meeting in the realm of the imagination has equally splendid results as meeting in 'real' life.

The longing for a soul mate is, at its core, a desire to connect with one's own soul and return to the state of Oneness. If we develop a truly passionate, caring and unconditionally loving relationship with soul, then our need for a relationship with someone else vanishes. Each soul mate relationship challenges us to partner with ourselves and grow in self-love. Paradoxically, it is when we no longer yearn for a special and harmonious relationship that we have best odds of attracting our twin flame..

How do you attract a loving soul mate relationship?

1. Become your own soul mate. Develop an unconditionally loving relationship with your inner self.
2. Recognize the soul in others.
3. Cherish the love that exists in your life now.
4. Learn from all your relationships - develop compassion, let go of guilt and self-blame, and allow only love to remain.
5. Honor your soul by acting on your dreams and fulfilling your life's passion.
6. Surrender the fears and inner core beliefs that you are unworthy of love.
7. Take responsibility for your emotional triggers, uncover their origin and allow hurt to heal

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