Sexual Fantasies

I guess I'm all horned up at the moment, because I'm thinking about sex. And sexual fantasies. This is a topic rarely touched upon by other bloggers, except for Geekslut. But since I'm not stupid enough to tell friends that I have a blog, I am pretty much anonymous (I hope). Really, Todd, what are you thinking, by making your blog public and people knowing who you are? What's the point of blogging then? The fun is in telling the truth, while no one knows who you are.

So, I think most gay men fantasize about sex more than I do. I've gleaned this from conversations I've had with other gay men. I'm not sure why this is - perhaps my puritanical Christian upbringing? Perhaps.

Also, sexual fantasies ebb and flow. They're here today, gone tomorrow. What I fantasize about today is gone tomorrow. So it's hard to get a handle on them. But there are a few moments in time that I remember which are terrific to jerk off to.

After all the sex I had with BC, the one that stands out the most for me is...

I slept overnight with BC, and he was getting ready for work at 7:30am. He took his LONG shower, then was doing his hair in his bathroom mirrors. He was naked, of course - all 6'4" of him, languidly lounging (meaning sitting on his butt) on his bathroom sink. Fussing and combing and gelling his receding hair in the triple mirrors he had installed. His hot, muscular body, hairy chest and legs, and huge dick were just laid there. He looked so cute, and HOT. I wandered over and began sucking his limp dick. He didn't oppose. Within seconds, it became big, his usual 9 - 10" and I gave him a blow job. He was into it, even though he had to leave for work within 5 minutes. I made him cum, and he shot his huge, delicious, sweet cum into my mouth, and I licked up any remaining cummage. He joked, "I guess I don't need to wipe myself off now." He got dressed and went to work.

I'm not sure why that remains in my mind as one of the hottest sexual experiences I've ever had. But it is. If I psychoanalyze it, it has to do with the following...
He wasn't looking for a blow job.
His dick was limp, but I made it hard.
He totally got into being sucked off, even though he was in a hurry.
He would go into work knowing that he had just been sucked off.
He would work all day, knowing he got an amazing blow job on his huge dick.

I know it's not enlightened, but it's the truth. There you go.

The other major sexual fantasy that was fulfilled for me, and lingers in my sexual memory, is with Les.

Les...the guy who looked like a young Mel Gibson, was a top, and had always wanted to fuck me. I wasn't into being fucked. He did it once, in Hawaii, and I didn't enjoy it at all. It felt like he was dominating me, which I didn't like the idea of. I was about 29 years old then.

We had parted for about a year, then we got together again. In the meantime, I had watched porno videos, and tried to sexually fantasize about getting fucked. Being dominated. By Les. (Even though I fantasized about fucking him.)

There is a huge psychological aspect to being a bottom, I'd like to inform you all of. It took me until I was 29 years old to learn how to enjoy being a bottom, and even now, there are difficulties. As long as you can fuck me, I hope to fuck you back. That's how it works with me. I don't understand these 23 year year olds, who call themselves bottoms from the get-go. I was never that way.

Anyway, I went to a waterpark with about 15 gay men one summer. Les was there. I wore my yellow fluorescent bathing suit. We laid out in the sun, and I was doing my best to turn Les on. I ended up driving four gay guys back to Vancouver, and I knew I wanted to get fucked by Les. After dropping off all the other guys, Les invited me back, and I ended up at his beautiful home, in his bedroom, sucking his dick, and I told him, "Fuck me."

After not letting him fuck me for a long time, and not being into it, he was quite surprised. So I was doggy style on his bed, he was standing, and I could see us in the mirrors in his bedroom. I allowed myself, psychologically, to get turned on by the fact that he was "dominating" me. I hate that word. Perhaps "offense" and "defensive" are better words (see coolrelax.blogspot.com). But really, I was being turned on by sticking out my cute butt, and having Les stick it to me!

So, he did, and he felt my cock while fucking me - which was extremely hard. I was enjoying it! He was thrilled to see that my cock was hard. It was one of the hottest sexual thrills of my life. And his too.

We were both hard the whole week, thinking about that sexual interaction. And it required me to change my psychological feeling about the whole event.

It's still challenging for me to be a bottom, but I can enjoy it when I'm willing. So there you go. More than you wanted to know!