9 to 5 - no thanks.I stole this image. I ripped it off from Jason's Room. It just so works for my blog, and I have no idea how he finds such fantastic images. Sorry Jason! Perhaps you could tell me how you find such relevant and beautiful images, so I don't need to rip-you-off!

Since I've had financial problems since a certain client screwed me over for a very LARGE contract, I've been considering going back to work for a company. I've been freelancing for 6 years now, and it suits me best. The last job for which I worked 9 to 5, for paltry money that didn't cover my basic living expenses, drove me nearly insane. Since then I've made a good living teaching, and doing my own freelance work. But since I quit teaching last year, and since my contracts are thinning out at the moment, I'm thinking of:

a. finding a full time job
b. finding a part time job to supplement my freelance work
c. selling my body

I think that selling my body is far preferable to finding a full time job - at least I'd work for myself. My preference would be a part time job, but even better is getting some new contracts in, and fast.

After having gone to school for over 10 years, and being used to setting my own schedules, as soon as I'm put into a cubicle from 9am to 5pm, I feel like I'm in jail. I start hyperventilating.

Actually, another option is:
d. go to jail

Except that options:
a. and d. sound the same to me.

I've never worked full time for more than a year in my entire life. Scholarships, part time jobs, student loans, work on the side have been my entire life.

I've got personality problems that prevent me from doing the reasonable 9 to 5 thing. The first is impatience. I have very minimal skills when it comes to dealing with incompetent and unproductive people. I'm very gentle and supportive the first 3-5 times that I tell someone how to do something, but if they're still uncooperative, I begin to think they're doing it to spite me, or that they simply haven't done therapy. After that, my blood pressure begins to boil, and I often lash out at him or her. Or, if I have an incompetent supervisor, who doesn't listen to my rational complaints or is less intelligent than me, I usually end up telling them so, and thereby breaking the rule of "thy shall not be insubordinant."

I've gotten worse too, the longer I work for myself, and the better I've gotten at my work.

I don't think of myself as a perfectionist - it's taken me years to become one, but I think many people think of me as such. So, I get along best with people who are passionate, smart and into improving their work, which is rare in the 9 to 5 world. I know I'm know I'm not the best either, and if I discover someone who knows more than me in a certain area, I'm a total, gushing, ass-kisser to learn what they know.

Since I work intensely, when I do work, I need a few minutes or an hour, here and there, to go for a walk, make myself some food, clean the dishes, trim my nose hairs, or whatever, in the middle of the work day. When you work in the 9 to 5 prison, you're not allowed to. You're expected to be in the cubicle. So if the manager or boss walks by, and you're not there, it's bad.

The other thing that makes me the angriest is that I am working for a low salary (i.e. under $50/hour) making the company richer, and I'm not sharing that profit. I would belong best in those upstart companies, who share the ownership of the company.

I'm willing to work more than 9 - 5, but only for myself. Unless I'm getting over $50/hour, I'm not. I refuse to be owned. In the past week, I actually worked a couple of 18 hour days. That's fine. Because I'm doing it for myself and on my own terms.

The other personality disorder I have is that I cannot deal with office politics. I just can't. I can't kiss ass just because someone is considered to be more important than me. It's against my nature, and would ruin my creativity and very soul.

So, I may be doomed...unless I can pull it together, very soon.

Wish me luck.