Attempt to tell Intimacy Moment #2 (The B eauty and Horror of Bisexual Men)

We were in the midst of our "honeymoon," high from sexual feelings for each other, but still didn't know each other. We went for dinner at a small Italian restaurant, a block away from Kitsilano beach, where all the beautiful people hang out. We got a patio-side table, next to the sidewalk. We were so engrossed in each other. The energy was thick between us (have you ever experienced this?). We were both engaged in a sense of heightened unreality. We wanted each other. Every word we spoke to each other was important and undeniably fascinating.

In the middle of our main course, a single woman near us, on the patio, asked us, "Are you brothers? You seem to be a lot alike..."

We laughed. I was complimented...I thought, I had found someone very special, who would spend the rest of my life with me.

The horrible thing about bisexual men is that they can fall in love with you, and deny it at the same time. They're not comfortable with being gay, and they're uncomfortable with being straight. In fact, they're fearful of being in love, with anyone...actually, I should say, they're terrified of commitment because that means they have to make a decision. Meanwhile, their hormones, psyche and soul leads them to hook up with a man, but their mind tells them they should love a woman. These men are conflicted and are not good partners.

They can block it off, longer than most of us. After dinner, we walked on the beach. It was July, the weather was warm. We walked down to an isolated beach, where beach-goers lit illegal fires, hung out, drank beer, kissed. There were about a dozen of heterosexual partners around us, sitting around the fire, drinking. But he sat me down on a beached log, myself sitting in between his legs, feeling his HUGE cock on my butt, and began kissing my neck, then my cheek, and then my lips, in front of all the other straight lovers. I felt a warmth from him, that was stronger than any other lover I have ever been with.

I said to him, "You should stop, there are people who can see this." He told me to ignore it.

Meanwhile, he's very publicly embracing me, kissing me, and making love to me in the most lovely way. I was in heaven. But it was only a moment in time. One that I'll remember for its intimacy.

Of course, it didn't last. Two weeks later, driving around in his 4x4, I was caressing his leg while he was driving. He asked me to stop. He was afraid another driver would see me doing this (which was unlikely, considering we're a couple feet higher than anyone else, and his windows are slightly tinted). I've found with bisexual men, they have moments of great intimacy, and then moments of total fear. It's unfortunate they're so attractive.