Virtual or Reality?
It's interesting that gay bloggers meet each other, in real life...in person. I've never had this leaning, myself. I express myself too much to want to meet another blogger in real life. I don't want someone new to know what I'm thinking, and what my diary confesses. The blogger would have to be truly special, for me, to meet him in person. It's not that I'm hiding that I'm a fat, bloated, ugly person. My blog is to archive my history, rather than to meet people. I guess I'm odd in this respect.
I wonder what gay bloggers truly think about meeting each other. Somehow, there's an unwritten rule, that you cannot truly say what you think about the blogger, once meeting them in non-virtual reality. In other words, in real life, you cannot express what the blogger is like. I've heard, from good sources, that the blogger is not as goodlooking or as interesting in real life, than they are in their blog. Many bloggers create their own virtual life, via the blog, but in real life, they are dull and boring. Other bloggers suggest they are really hot, but in real life, are fat and/or uninteresting.
So there's lots to think about here.
Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Reading DogPoet's post about wrestling reminded me of some experiences I had in school. DogPoet has a way of triggering deeply felt and remembered memories at a fully sensory level.
I 'm in grade 6. I've been a competitive gymnast for over a year. I look skinny and not particularly strong. I'm good -looking, and the girls love me. But the boys tend to hate me. They know I'm a gymnast and believe I'm totally gay (I guess they were right - I didn't know it at the time). Especially two boys - one is Asian, the other is white trash.
The Asian boy is known to be the strongest guy in the school. He's a karate expert. He's got a bad attitude to match. Somehow, we decide to compete in an arm wrestle. Everyone is so caught up in the excitement - who will win? I remember sitting at a round table in front of large windows overlooking the playground. Everyone in class is surrounding us, eager to see me lose. Where was the teacher? Who knows! When I think back on my life in school, I really wonder where the teachers are. How come they didn't do more for me? Anyway...we grip hands, across from one another and begin the arm wrestle.
After about 5 seconds of struggle, I slap his knuckles down on the table, with no problem. I was shocked at how easy it was. So was everyone else. So we did it a second time. Again, I bruise his knuckles on the round table top with no problem. I feel like he wasn't even trying to combat me. The girls loved it: the boys denied it. "It's a trick," the boys say.
Then in grade 8, gym class, we're taught to wrestle. I was paired with an ex-friend, named David, who is considered to be very strong and masculine. We were good friend before junior high. We hung out together. He was the first guy with whom I slept over at his place. He showed himself to me naked, got a hard on, and we played with each other's dicks. Even at 12 years old, he had a big cock. It was fun to jerk him off. And he smelled good. Something happened over the summer, and he decided to ignore me. Now we were forced to wrestle each other during gym class.
Like DogPoet expresses, it was a smaller room, with lots of padded walls and mats. So we began wrestling - David was good. He nearly got me. But because of my gymnastic training, I managed to throw my legs over his head and neck, and throw him over, and pin him down. I felt bad about beating him, because I had feelings for him. After all, he let me jerk his big cock. But, I managed to beat every boy in the class in wrestling. Meanwhile, in typing class, I did over 60 words per minute, on a manual typewriter. Everyone was confused.
In grade 9 we were taught gymnastics. I knew, by this time, that being a gymnast was very gay. So I couldn't show off my talents in this realm (I was competing in gymnastics). Also, I was at a different school. So I pretended that I couldn't do gymnastics. When we had to do a forward roll on the mat, I'd make it look awful. When we swung on the parallel bars, I didn't point my toes, and I made it seem that I found it difficult to do (meanwhile, I could do a handstand on them, and many other complicated moves). So I faked it, and made myself look like every other guy in the class. We were measured for fitness ability, and I got grade A marks. I could do at least 40 chinups, and my body/fat was measured at 6%.
Finally, at the end of the class, I told the gym instructor that I was a gymnast, and could do a lot more than he asked us to do. I told him I was faking my ability, because I didn't want to be teased by the other guys. So I met with him, after school, and showed him what I could do. I did my double back handsprings, followed by a full out backsommersault, and more. He was freaked out. But he understood why I hid my talent.
There's far more incidences of me beating "the straight people" with my physical abilities...but I'll leave it for another post.
I 'm in grade 6. I've been a competitive gymnast for over a year. I look skinny and not particularly strong. I'm good -looking, and the girls love me. But the boys tend to hate me. They know I'm a gymnast and believe I'm totally gay (I guess they were right - I didn't know it at the time). Especially two boys - one is Asian, the other is white trash.
The Asian boy is known to be the strongest guy in the school. He's a karate expert. He's got a bad attitude to match. Somehow, we decide to compete in an arm wrestle. Everyone is so caught up in the excitement - who will win? I remember sitting at a round table in front of large windows overlooking the playground. Everyone in class is surrounding us, eager to see me lose. Where was the teacher? Who knows! When I think back on my life in school, I really wonder where the teachers are. How come they didn't do more for me? Anyway...we grip hands, across from one another and begin the arm wrestle.
After about 5 seconds of struggle, I slap his knuckles down on the table, with no problem. I was shocked at how easy it was. So was everyone else. So we did it a second time. Again, I bruise his knuckles on the round table top with no problem. I feel like he wasn't even trying to combat me. The girls loved it: the boys denied it. "It's a trick," the boys say.
Then in grade 8, gym class, we're taught to wrestle. I was paired with an ex-friend, named David, who is considered to be very strong and masculine. We were good friend before junior high. We hung out together. He was the first guy with whom I slept over at his place. He showed himself to me naked, got a hard on, and we played with each other's dicks. Even at 12 years old, he had a big cock. It was fun to jerk him off. And he smelled good. Something happened over the summer, and he decided to ignore me. Now we were forced to wrestle each other during gym class.
Like DogPoet expresses, it was a smaller room, with lots of padded walls and mats. So we began wrestling - David was good. He nearly got me. But because of my gymnastic training, I managed to throw my legs over his head and neck, and throw him over, and pin him down. I felt bad about beating him, because I had feelings for him. After all, he let me jerk his big cock. But, I managed to beat every boy in the class in wrestling. Meanwhile, in typing class, I did over 60 words per minute, on a manual typewriter. Everyone was confused.
In grade 9 we were taught gymnastics. I knew, by this time, that being a gymnast was very gay. So I couldn't show off my talents in this realm (I was competing in gymnastics). Also, I was at a different school. So I pretended that I couldn't do gymnastics. When we had to do a forward roll on the mat, I'd make it look awful. When we swung on the parallel bars, I didn't point my toes, and I made it seem that I found it difficult to do (meanwhile, I could do a handstand on them, and many other complicated moves). So I faked it, and made myself look like every other guy in the class. We were measured for fitness ability, and I got grade A marks. I could do at least 40 chinups, and my body/fat was measured at 6%.
Finally, at the end of the class, I told the gym instructor that I was a gymnast, and could do a lot more than he asked us to do. I told him I was faking my ability, because I didn't want to be teased by the other guys. So I met with him, after school, and showed him what I could do. I did my double back handsprings, followed by a full out backsommersault, and more. He was freaked out. But he understood why I hid my talent.
There's far more incidences of me beating "the straight people" with my physical abilities...but I'll leave it for another post.
Tuesday, May 11, 2004
Semi-Rape Fantasies
I don't think I've ever posted or written about this, but it needs to be heard/remembered, in my blog diary.
After BC went to Saltspring Island with me, one summer, for a couple of romantic months together, we were staying at a luxurious, Italian-inspired bed and breakfast. We were having a great time together, touring the island, making food on the B&B barbeque, slapping back the beers and renting DVDs that we'd watch on my laptop in the bedroom when night arrived. We watched a DVD (I can't remember the name of it) because I fell asleep during the whole movie. I know it had Angelina Jolie in it, and it was very sexual. Anyway, I'd been asleep for at least an hour, when I was suddenly awakened by BC, sticking his huge cock up my ass. Unprotected, and without lube. The DVD was no longer playing. BC decided he was very horny, and wanted to fuck me, even though I was passed out on the bed. But he was hard, and started playing with my butt with his cock. I woke up, was in half-awareness, but, his hard cock playing with my butt turned me on. Eventually he managed to stick his whole dick up my ass, while we were laying on our sides. I have to admit, it was hot. I don't know if he thought I was awake or semi-awake or unconscious...he simply decided to fuck my butt and he was passionate about it, and it did turn me on.
The next time he fucked me, was mostly when I was unconscious, after he returned from Saltspring Island, after having sexual relationships with a gay couple he met there. Again, look in the archives. It's very sad, the whole story. We went out to straight clubs later, with a gorgeous straight woman, then went to a gay club, and BC and I ended up at my place to "sleep." I was ready to sleep - too much booze - but he was very horny, and ended up turning me onto my back, lifting my legs, and sticking his HUGE cock up my ass, when I wasn't really ready. It hurt like hell, but felt good at the same time. He fucked me like an animal. Again, without lube. It hurt like hell, but to be honest, I LOVED it. It was so hot seeing BC get so passionate, about sticking his huge cock up my ass, and loving it.
In the "end" I remember these sessions as being very hot. They're sexual fantasies. It's a raw, but a true, experience.
I don't think I've ever posted or written about this, but it needs to be heard/remembered, in my blog diary.
After BC went to Saltspring Island with me, one summer, for a couple of romantic months together, we were staying at a luxurious, Italian-inspired bed and breakfast. We were having a great time together, touring the island, making food on the B&B barbeque, slapping back the beers and renting DVDs that we'd watch on my laptop in the bedroom when night arrived. We watched a DVD (I can't remember the name of it) because I fell asleep during the whole movie. I know it had Angelina Jolie in it, and it was very sexual. Anyway, I'd been asleep for at least an hour, when I was suddenly awakened by BC, sticking his huge cock up my ass. Unprotected, and without lube. The DVD was no longer playing. BC decided he was very horny, and wanted to fuck me, even though I was passed out on the bed. But he was hard, and started playing with my butt with his cock. I woke up, was in half-awareness, but, his hard cock playing with my butt turned me on. Eventually he managed to stick his whole dick up my ass, while we were laying on our sides. I have to admit, it was hot. I don't know if he thought I was awake or semi-awake or unconscious...he simply decided to fuck my butt and he was passionate about it, and it did turn me on.
The next time he fucked me, was mostly when I was unconscious, after he returned from Saltspring Island, after having sexual relationships with a gay couple he met there. Again, look in the archives. It's very sad, the whole story. We went out to straight clubs later, with a gorgeous straight woman, then went to a gay club, and BC and I ended up at my place to "sleep." I was ready to sleep - too much booze - but he was very horny, and ended up turning me onto my back, lifting my legs, and sticking his HUGE cock up my ass, when I wasn't really ready. It hurt like hell, but felt good at the same time. He fucked me like an animal. Again, without lube. It hurt like hell, but to be honest, I LOVED it. It was so hot seeing BC get so passionate, about sticking his huge cock up my ass, and loving it.
In the "end" I remember these sessions as being very hot. They're sexual fantasies. It's a raw, but a true, experience.
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